Reflections of a Docuvixen – In Thailand

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So, I’m here in Thailand. And I know it has been a minute y’all since my last entry, since I’ve  written my last reflections. I know, I know I  use to do this twice a year, on the birthday and on the turn of the new year. But there is numerous of reasons why I have been M.I.A which I will share with you from the oher side of the world, in the hopes to pic myself out of this depression that I have been in. So gratefule that I am able to do this trip, and I was given the opportunity to do this trip, via Jenise Solstice Sister and the Universe, thank you.

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The Diaspora Travels: Haiti

If folks no me I have been all in on this Haiti Project https://thediasporatravelshaiti.wordpress.com/ since November of 2010, and primarily with no support which really matches the subject on the ground. I knew that going in but it is different intellectually knowing it ahead of time, is different than going through it emotionally trying to sustain the project to the present. Last year I was in Jacmel/Port au Prince for 3 months on a hand to mouth budget, stretching my network to it absolute limit, catching a parasite having diarrea for the last month of the shoot.

The original production crew that came with me throughout the 2011 production fell apart, primarily because of the shoe string budget, and as well as expansion of support to extend to also building support of Saklakwel and Earthship Haiti, because it is more than a film project is also a Community Building Project.

I questioned myself all throughout the process, which continued after I returned to Toronto. My return to Toronto didn’t help didn’t help much. Fell into a deep depression and a wave of other stuff that I didn’t deal with such as loss, and toxic bahaviour which hit me like a ton of bricks, staight hit me in the face and keep me in my room for a year.

The Haiti project came to me in a dream, very few folks know this but it did, came to me in a premonition dream before the Earthquake in Jan 2010, so a year later after the Earthquake found myself in Haiti.  But after my  return in May 2015, I began to doubt that original vision, which inturn made me further sick. I doubted it despite visions from other folks, (shout outs to Pamela Sova and Zainab Amadahy really for reminding me what I already knew).

Now with Hurricane Matthew, we see that things are on repeat, and my dream actuallyis becoming move and more real, and if  I had any doubt that the vision was true, is gone with the winds.

So why did I doubt it, well it is from my other struggle of not valueing myself or trusting my role in things, I was told word via the Ancestors that I tend to make myself small which tends to stall things, so my question here is why do I do this????  Why so much self-doubt?Well I know this project has tested me in every which way, and the rejection from York University, put in a tail spin straight to rock bottom, further into depression.  And when I get to that space the anxiety then the cycle of negative self talk and cycle of self-hate.  All those people who left me in the past return, to tell me that of course it was because I was disgusting and a massive failure. When I am in that space no one can tell me anything else, and there I stayed for a year and a half.

And I find myself here in Thailand.

Disconnecting from Toronto and Social Media

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Toronto is a lonely city, no really it is, it is the city with no memoryy, it is the city of no community, and with the advent of social media, it has made it worse. So need to disconnect from the minutiae of Toronto is real. I’ve realized that I do need to spend at least a few months outside it, or else I lose my mind.

So I am here getting the headspace to do that.  Give thanks to the Universe for bringing me here.

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Thanks for following the journey.

 

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Black Creek Food Justice Network, Friday, September 12, 2015

journals fo a docuvixen
http://journalsofadocuvixen.wordpress.ccom

 

On Friday, September 12, 2015, Black Creek Food Justice Network including Jane Finch Action Against Poverty, gathered at the corner of Jane and Finch, to Rally for Food Justice. Speakers include, Suzanne Narain, Butterfly, Andrea (Peachtree) – JFAAP, Food Not Bombs (St.Catherines), Gary (OCAP) Music by New Traditions. They rally for Food Justice, and took the streets and March up Jane/Finch North to Driftwood Community Centre, Guerrilla Gardening along the way.

Black Creek Food Justice Network
List of Demands:

FOOD IS A HUMAN RIGHT !

Join the Jane and Finch Community as we take to the streets and demand FOOD JUSTICE!

Our Demands:
• Make City Parks and Hydro Corridors accessible for community residents to garden and grow food
• Remove security guards and undercover police from grocery stores in predominantly racialized and working-class communities (high-income and/or largely white neighbourhoods do not have visible security presence)
• Subsidize small farmers and promote ecologically informed farming policies that support young, new, and racialized farmers.
• Core funding from all levels of government for organizations doing food justice and urban agriculture work so that they can be sustainable
• Make healthy food more accessible to people with mental and physical health challenges
• Increase and maintain the minimum wage at a liveable wage rate or a basic guaranteed income
• Raise ODSP and OW rates
• Support migrant farm workers’ political demands, which include a) access to landed status upon arrival; b) a permanent residency regularization program for those already in Canada, c) equal access to all social programs; d) a fair appeal process before any repatriation order; and e) full protections under the provincial Employment Standards Act and Regulations
• Mandate published images be representative of a variety of bodies, body shapes, sizes and skin tones.
• Create, fund and maintain a garden in every school

There will be a workshop, performances and events happening like Revolutionary Gardening from 10am-11:30am.
The afternoon will kick off with a march from Jane & Finch to Driftwood Community Centre and then lead into some great performances by Sun Therealsun and Ruben Esguerra and food!

Later on come and join us for a panel discussions, more food, art, entertainment and some great (as yet to be revealed) mini workshops!
If you would like to endorse this event please email:

blackcreekfoodjustice@gmail.com

Current Endorsements:
Jane Finch Action Against Poverty (JFAAP)
Advocacy for Change

Jane Finch Action Against Poverty
Take the streets again
Friday, October 16th 4pm
S/E Corner of Jane and Finch
http://jfaap.com/

 

The Journals Move through Time and Space.

Journals of a Docuvixen is a blog about community centred film, video and digital production and the goal is to support artists and communities to become self-sustaining and autonomous.

 

 

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TELLING UNTOLD STORIES

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docuvixen : sits at the point of contradiction, and points out the absurdity. film.media/music/art/ community /(r)evolution/ ♥ ONE LOVE reps the Diaspora all day everyday.

These Are Moments in Time.

The Journals Move through Time and Space.

Journals of a Docuvixen is a blog about community centred film, video and digital production and the goal is to support artists and communities to become self-sustaining and autonomous.

1553461_10151884571253595_1466806675_o
Design by Eddy Daoriginalone

TELLING UNTOLD STORIES

Email: docuvixenfilm@gmail.com
Tumblr: http://docuvixen.tumblr.com/
Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.com/docuvixen/
Youtube: http://www.youtube.com/docuvixen
Vimeo: https://vimeo.com/adocuvixenfilm
Google Plus
Linkedin

docuvixen : sits at the point of contradiction, and points out the absurdity. film.media/music/art/ community /(r)evolution/ ♥ ONE LOVE reps the Diaspora all day everyday.

~ these are moments in time ~